Everything I Really Needed to Know I learned in Kindergarten

Had a hearing today in a Federal Judge's courthouse. These are the things I needed to know for today.

a) How to count. Discovery was overdue by "x" number of days. Learning how to count in kindergarten takes care of that.

b) How to mind. Deadlines were imposed. If our respective clients knew how to mind those deadlines, we wouldn't reach the 3rd thing I needed to know, which was....

c) How to get yelled at. Mostly I learned that even before kindergarten, when I broke a lamp as a toddler, or spilled coffee grounds, or milk all over my parents' carpet growing up. That one was easy. Nothing like being a grown-up and being yelled at by a Judge like you were four years old. Funny thing; that seems to be the best thing some Judges can do. (Judge B., if you're reading, I don't mean you.)

Second funny thing, you learn to get immune to that kind of thing fairly quickly. Come to think of it, it's sorta like being immune to your parents' yelling growing up, too. Guess I learned that by kindergarten as well.

Now to figure out how to get my clients to pay for this mind-warping experience.....